There was a time, when I was younger, that my past was deeply pushed down, into a vault deep inside of me, and I would not "go there " at all. It was easier in a way.
However I guess it was just ALWAYS there. Like a cancer in my soul. At some point surgery had to begin.
So, I like many cancer victims have had surgery, and chemo, and it looked like maybe we got it all, and I was cancer free, so my life, thank GOD, went forward. Then, come to find out, it was back again, there was more, and more surgery required. That is how the emotional cancers of my life have been. Which also causes spiritual problems.
I hate surgery's. The fear of the unknown pain you will feel when you wake up. The fear of being put to sleep, and the feeling you have when you are going under, that you are no longer in control of your body. You could NOT make yourself stay awake if you had to!!! You were out of your own hands totally, and you were having to trust the hands of the surgeon.
When you do wake up, the groggy feeling, and the instant realization of the pain which is at this point more then you can bear. So you push the red call button, and you tell the nurse about your pain. She gives you a shot in the IV, and the pain subsides, and you become sleepy, and fall to sleep, until the pain begins to wake you up again. The shot has worn off. In the days to come, the nurse will make you go longer between shots, and so you feel the pain a little more.
She will make you get up and walk so you can begin to heal, and each step reminds you, that you just had some diseased object cut out of your body. You feel winded, and you would rather be asleep, then to be feeling this pain. However you have to heal in order to live!
You may be tender for weeks, and have to do all sorts of exercises, to retrain the muscles and tendons which were cut into , how to function normally again.
I have a huge scar where my gallbladder was removed. What was to be a simple 45 minute surgery, became a 4 hour surgery, due to blood clots all around my gallbladder, and liver the surgeon found. He had not anticipated this when he made his first small incision into my waste. What should have been a 2 inch incision became a 12 inch incision.
When I woke up, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I was so weak, that I could not talk, my voice was just a whisper, and it was painful to even talk. I was not prepared for this. I had had other surgeries, and they had not been this bad, and this was a simple 45 minute surgery, so I did not understand why I felt as if I was standing at the threshold of deaths door. Then it was explained to me that the surgeon had to operate on me more then I anticipated. Now I had 2 drain tubes to drain the toxins from my body.
I was in pain beyond words. I am reminded of that surgery everyday, by the 12 inch scar that I have. It does not hurt me any more at all. Sometimes the scar itches, and so that is a nuisance, and the scar is ugly, but I am the only person who sees it, so really it is not a painful issue for me now.
In our walk with God, sin leaves us with a scar.
It is like a disease that could eat away at our very existence. That is what sin does to our lives.
Whether it is a sin we purposely committed, or whether it is a sin which was committed against us, and we were an innocent victim of it all, it takes us to the threshold of deaths door. That death may be mentally, or emotionally, or spiritually, or even physically. We do not have to pass through that threshold. We can close the door, and choose LIFE and life more abundantly!
John 10:9 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
It appears, as I look back, that my life has been diseased, then healed, only to become diseased again and again. Just as a cancer victim, whose cancer appears to be gone, or in remission, only to find that it has come back again. Those cancer cells have come to life again.
The lies that the enemy began planting into my life at an early age, would be defeated to a measure, only to one day show up again in another place in my life. The lies created strongholds. Strongholds transcended into action, and behavior patterns were created. One behavior pattern was simply survival. To survive any way I had to. Another was to become good at hiding the truth. I had to wear a mask, and appear to be something other then what I was, which was a wounded person, in need of deliverance, and healing.
I tried to appear strong, strong willed. I wasn't. I was always reaching for relief somewhere.
Over the years relief came in many forms.
A wounded person does not need relief. A wounded person needs healing.
After my gallbladder surgery, if the nurse would have come in every 2 hours, and gave me a shot strong enough to relieve me, and I would have stayed in bed sleeping , only being relieved, I would have slowly died.
Ling in bed and sleeping, to be relieved of the pain, would have robbed me of life. My body would have become weak. If I only sought relief, finally I would have been sedated rather then eating, so I would not have had nutrition to feed me. So, slowly my body would die. So it is with sin in our lives, spiritually, and emotionally we are effected.
We can not seek relief! We must seek LIFE! We must seek healing, and do what ever we have to in order to find it!
Healing is for us! Jesus took stripes upon his back so we may be healed !
Isaiah 53:5
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
Peter 2:24
Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
We can be healed, it is Gods will for us to walk in Healing. It is Gods will for us to be whole, rather then to wander through life just seeking relief from our circumstances.
I know that looking at a physical surgery is breaking this down into a simple physical example, however, this example can easily reflect, or mirror to us, how our spiritual life, and emotions can become unhealthy, and how we have become sick and diseased in our soul.
Our life can become totally dysfunctional. We may have learned the mechanics of day to day chores, to appear alive. We may go through the motions at church to give the appearance of being alive. But inside we have become dead dry bones.
When God resurrected the dead dry bones, and put flesh, and muscles, and and a beating heart, and the breath of life in those bodies, he made them an instant army.
To be in the army, you can not be unhealthy, or crippled, or blind, or deaf. You have to be able to run miles with a full back pack on and with weapons. You have to be prepared for battle, against a ruthless enemy.
Your mind has got to be clear and focused. Your senses alert.
You have to know what you are fighting for, and you have to be willing to fight whatever the cost may be in order to defeat an enemy who would like to destroy you.
Sins chains must not be holding you captive. Disease can not be keeping you so sick that you can not fight.
If God could resurrect dead dry bones, and cause to to be fit for battle, can He not deliver us, heal us and make us whole?
He can, and He will, if we will allow Him to work in our lives.
Ezekiel 37
1-The hand of the LORD was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the LORD, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones,
2-And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry.
3-And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord GOD, thou knowest.
4-Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.
5-Thus saith the Lord GOD unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:
6-And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I am the LORD.
7-So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone.
8-And when I beheld, lo, the sinews and the flesh came up upon them, and the skin covered them above: but there was no breath in them.
9-Then said he unto me, Prophesy unto the wind, prophesy, son of man, and say to the wind, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe upon these slain, that they may live.
10-So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army.
11-Then he said unto me, Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel: behold, they say, Our bones are dried, and our hope is lost: we are cut off for our parts.
12-Therefore prophesy and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, O my people, I will open your graves, and cause you to come up out of your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel.
13-And ye shall know that I am the LORD, when I have opened your graves, O my people, and brought you up out of your graves,
14-And shall put my spirit in you, and ye shall live, and I shall place you in your own land: then shall ye know that I the LORD have spoken it, and performed it, saith the LORD.
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